Some signs and notices, written in English, that were collected from throughout the world:
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notice.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours 9am and 11am daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm own make: limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger: roasted duck let loose: beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.
Outside a Hong-Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, man and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guest of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentists:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today – no ice cream.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to Russia, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest Zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.